I’m on my way home from India, suspended in time somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, and wondering what reality I will find on the ground when I get back to the U.S. 

It’s hard not to jump ahead to the future in this shifting social and political landscape we find ourselves in. Based on what I believe about governance and what I’ve heard about current events, It’s hard not to imagine the worst and feel pushed into quick action. I feel like I’m holding a bag of gold filled with the tools my teachers have given me to share, and everything feels urgent.

But if I’ve been training in anything over the past four months of sabbatical – or indeed, the past 30 years – it’s been to stay aware of my embodied present experience, and to question urgency. 

It’s an incredibly hard practice. My mind seems to “naturally” jump into questions and images of the future, and how to PREPARE for that imagined future, and what to ward off, and what to stockpile just in case. 

However I don’t think it’s actually “natural” to leave my body here in the present to go spend time in an imagined future – although it’s certainly common. It’s not natural, in the same way it’s not natural to scroll Instagram when we feel lonely for human connection, instead of finding a human to connect with. Unnatural behaviors remain unnatural even as they become habitual.

After four months of living in the small active community of vaidyagrama with limited media, social or otherwise, I feel nourished and satisfied in a way I’m still coming to terms with. Yes, I’ve deepened friendships and started some new projects that couldn’t have happened elsewhere, but that doesn’t feel like the crux of it.

I’ve also been receiving the benefit of living in a less-scheduled, present-moment orientation. When our basic needs are met, being in the present is inherently nourishing, grounding and enlivening. I’ve been living at the pace of life, instead of the breakneck pace of the manufactured “reality” most of us get trapped in.

Sarasvati is the goddess of knowledge, education, and the arts, depicted holding a veena, a stringed musical instrument. She also represents the literary arts, language, and culture. And right there in her name, we have some divine guidance – “Sara” means flow, and “Svati” means one who has a specified characteristic. She is the face of the divine who possess a flowing quality, pointing us towards the current and flow of life and reminding us to ride along.

So as I face imminent re-entry, I’m resisting the urge to plan out all my next moves, and to start executing the plan so I’m ahead of the game. 

Instead, I’m keeping up my practices and staying attuned to my particular present. I’m waiting in the airport gate and doing dasha chalana joint movements. I’m chanting mantra over my oddly-timed airplane meal. I’m looking for beauty out the window. I’m inhabiting the present. The future will get here soon enough.