Cravings can take over our perfectly intelligent minds, pulling us towards things we know don’t support us. Like the mythical sirens’ call enticing us to crash our ships on the rocks, cravings can completely demolish all of our carefully crafted intentions, decisions and declarations. 

I like to view cravings as very good reminders that our thinking-mind is not as powerful as it believes it is! The mind can come up with all sorts of rational reasons why a certain food or habit is off-limits, and yet there we go again with our hand in the cookie jar. It can feel so frustrating, since the mind likes to imagine it is in control all the time. So first, let’s take heart. It’s good news, in my opinion, to remember that we are far more than just a brain on a stick. 

Here’s my reframe: cravings are really important communications from our interior whole selves. Something is being expressed by the craving, something of which the thinking-mind is not yet fully aware, and something we NEED to know. As long as the craving has us in its automated vice grip, mindlessly repeating the habit that’s not actually serving us, we are missing that communication. 

Instead, let’s orient towards the craving with curiosity, and let up on the urgency to make it disappear. Yes, it may take some time to interpret the hidden message of a craving, so we have to settle in for the long game and soften the punishing self-criticism that usually swoops in when cravings surface. Self-criticism is just another facet of the thinking-mind trying to reassert control after “failing” to prevent the craving in the first place. Instead, let’s foster a genuine kindness towards ourselves – and then get curious about what is to be revealed.

Here is the 4-step strategy I share with my clients and use myself to get closer to that interior whole self, which is the only way we can decipher that hidden communication. Next time you feel a craving about to hijack your good sense, start here: P-S-E-W.

1) PAUSE.

That’s it – just stop moving and take a breath. We are not making any heroic moves here. Just interrupt the automatic flow from feeling the craving to satisfying the urge. Instead, if we notice the craving and then insert a pause, we’ve got a foothold. 

Pausing is where we assert our power again. It doesn’t have to be a long pause – even a few seconds makes a difference. Many of us cringe at the “powerless” feeling we know all too well when caught in the thrall of a strong craving, and it can make us want to get out of dodge – “just eat the darn cookie, and get on with it,” we mutter to ourselves in a misguided power-play attempt to hurry past the moment of weakness so we can get back to feeling in charge again.

When we pause, we immediately upend that power dynamic. Linger in that moment of pause and recognize the power of simply interrupting the automatic slide into the craving. Over time, the pause may get longer. For now, be content with a few breaths.

2) List your SENSATIONS. 

Next, look for any physical sensations that are present in the body – how exactly does the craving show up in my body? Is my mouth salivating? Is my jaw tight? A rush of warmth around my chest? Stay with the wide variety of sensations that are running through the physical body and try to itemize them.

If possible, sit down while you do this step. Again, this helps us slow down the automatic habit of satisfying the craving. Take a few slow breaths, which can help us become aware of quieter sensations that might be less obvious. After you have a full list of sensations, move on to the next step.

3) Ask, “What EMOTIONS am I feeling right now?”

Scan the territory of your heart and observe which emotions are alive. Perhaps you’re feeling celebratory or excited, or maybe uninspired, or a sharp sadness. 

If possible, state your answers out loud: “I am feeling a little vulnerable, maybe even tearful.” “I am annoyed at my co-worker, and really frustrated from trying to get my point across.” “I’m exhausted and overwhelmed knowing all I have to do today.” Whatever it is. 

Keep talking through the emotions at play for at least 60 seconds (which might seem like forever!). When we keep going beyond the first pass of easily recognized emotions, we can get to some of the deeper feelings that have been hiding out beneath. Look for that deeper level and precisely name as many subtle nuances of emotion as possible.

“I’m feeling really bored right now, just a lot of dullness… well, actually I’m also feeling a little nervous… I think I’m nervous that I might not get out of this flat feeling…. Yes, I feel nervous that this boredom will sink into the same depression I felt last year… That’s what I’m anxious about.”

This exercise may be a revealing reward on its own. But either way, move on to the next step.

4) Ask, “What else do I WANT right now?”

There are always other desires that exist simultaneously when a strong craving shows up. Even though that chocolate chip cookie has taken center stage and may feel like the only show in town, we can widen out our perspective to the rest of our life – what’s happening in the next 15 minutes, the rest of the day, the rest of the week – and answer the question “What ELSE do I want?” literally, with whatever is really true. 

“I want to finish that work project well and show my expertise. I want to play with the dog. I want to watch my son’s swimming lesson later….” This step reminds us of the wider playing field of our life. It reminds us of our full selves. It helps us disconnect from the sense of immediacy or urgency that the craving brings with it.

It also gives us a chance to remember any desires that contradict the craving. “I want the inflammation and pain in my joints to go away. I want to feel hungry for supper in an hour. I  want to sleep well tonight….” Open to those wishes too and give them some air time. Envision those desires coming to be.

Regardless of whether we indulge the craving this time or not, when we take these 4 steps (Pause – Sensations – Emotions – Wants), we’re already winning the long game. When we notice the craving and pause, we’ve shifted the power differential. We’re not following the craving blindly only to be dashed into the rocks again and again, unchanged by the process. By hunting for the hidden communications behind the craving, we align with our wholeness. 

It may take some time to unearth the layers of emotion to reach the treasure, but we are sending a message back to our system that we WANT to understand the communication. We’re reaching out to include the parts of ourselves that are currently less accessible. Often when we receive the communication, we naturally take steps to respond to the deeper need that end up making the craving resolve in unexpected ways. This is the true journey of healing.

Next time a craving arises, try P-S-E-W – and let us know in the comments below how it goes for you.